The first key to succeeding in your marriage is to really get to know your intended. This gives you two advantages: first, you’ll always know what presents to give for special occasions (even though she inevitably wants expensive jewelry—I mean, come on! Who can really tell the difference between a diamond and cubic zirconium, anyway?). The second advantage is that you’ll know what behaviors to avoid (in some cultures, burping is a compliment to the chef; at least, that’s what the TV said). Now, it can get annoying for your fiancée if you ask her a bunch of questions about what she likes. So it’s better to just sit and watch everything she does and write it down. (This will also help you detect any personality problems she develops, such as intense paranoia.) After all, women love attention.
Now, many women have spent countless hours from their childhood on up planning their wedding day. She will probably have the dress, colors, flowers, and food all picked out long before you even met. Many men therefore feel tempted to just sit back and let the bride (or her mother) do all the work. But you don’t want to make your bride do all that work, do you? You should jump on in and offer opinions on everything from the wedding cake to the bridesmaid dresses. And you can also help by working to resolve any disagreements between the bride and her mother. They’re sure to appreciate the help.
Chances are your soon-to-be-wife will want to serve dessert at the reception, with cakes and “nut cups” and possibly temple-shaped mints. But let’s face it: won’t you get a better turnout if you advertise a full buffet? Think about all those college buddies who would be sure to show up if you offer burgers and ribs. In fact, having the event catered by a local steakhouse would take an awful lot of pressure off of everyone, and the increased attendance will translate to more gifts to help the new couple start their life together. It can also help to stimulate the local economy.
Some brides may claim that they want their wedding dress to be a surprise, but what woman doesn’t dream of a man who enjoys shopping? Insist that you accompany her when she goes dress shopping. You probably know where to get a better deal anyway. And finding a dress at Savers makes great financial sense, since she’s only going to wear it once anyway. Plus it will enable you to divert much-needed funds to the food.
Planning the honeymoon takes a lot of work. You’ll want to make sure you take care of it in advance, since tickets to your favorite sporting events usually sell fast. You don’t want to have to pay a scalper $400 to get into NASCAR or a baseball game. If you time it right, you could get tickets to every home playoff game of your favorite team, which is sure to make for a memorable experience.
As the big day approaches, you may notice your fiancée getting a little short-tempered from the stress. If that happens, it’s a sure sign that you need to do more to help her with the plans. You could surprise her by baking the wedding cake yourself, or by making your own invitations (if it’s shaped like a T-bone, that will get people’s attention). There’s no need to stress her further by bothering her with the details.
Finally the big day will arrive. Your bride is sure to look absolutely stunning in the dress you helped her choose, so you’ll want to look your best too. Be sure to take a shower, and comb your hair, too, since baseball caps are generally frowned upon at weddings, especially at the temple. You’ll also want some nice clothes for the reception, because if there’s one thing women like, it’s a man who dresses for the occasion. Since the catering lends a Western flavor to the evening, get yourself a red bandana, a nice pair of boots, wranglers, and a shiny belt buckle the size of a dinner plate. Add a fancy Stetson, and you’re as classy (yet masculine) as you can get.
By using these simple tips, you’ll be sure to make your wedding day the most memorable experience of your life. But remember, it doesn’t stop there. Much of what you learn while preparinge for your wedding can be used after the wedding to help your marriage remain strong, but we’ll discuss that later. Good luck, and be sure to send me an invitation to the reception, especially if there’s beef involved.
